I Am Number Four (2011)

You know, I really don't go to watch things I think I won't like. 
If I'm ever angry or talk shit about a film, it's only because it doesn't deliver on it's promise. But I'm struggling to think where I percieved that that I Am Number Four showed any promise. I guess I thought DJ Caruso was good for making entertaining popcorn B.S, like Disturbia and Eagle Eye.
Had I looked more closely I would have noticed that this was a film produced by Michael Bay and written by the makers of Smallville and the head writer of Buffy. It take no pride in saying that this is remarkable by how much it is translucently made by accountants/commitee. It's difficult not to view it in as cynical a manner as the way it was produced. It's like someone said 'I like Harry Potter but... um... whataboutdoingitwithbetterlookingAmericanpeople'. It's obvious that someone said I want a franchise like Twilight and Potter and sought to make one. Even the book on which those film was based was successful author James Frey taking his clout and to get prospective writers from the internet to help him write the most commercial creative property possible. More on that interesting endeavour HERE

I guess I expected this to be wall to wall action too; there's a bit but you face to wait around an hour for that to show up. It really poorly lit too,which you might excuse if it was 3d; the fact it's not 3d seems less like a moment of restraint but a great commercial oversight.
Timothy Olyphant pops up for a while and that's alright and he's likable but I'm sorry but none of the kids in this film can exide charisma. But it's okay, they're young and they can learn and their beauty will tide them over. It's not just the vapid cute youngsters.  It's the soundtrack too with it's use of songs from Adele and New Kings Of Leon (as in New Labour) and The XX. I like The XX and I don't begrudge them picking up a royalty cheque but you just know that someone in a meeting stoically said 'my intern likes these songs and we will use them'. At least and this will be the first and last time I will stick up for the Twilight travesty but at least, they commission bands to make them original music.
The mission statement of this whole thing was let's just take and make something based on what people already like. Okay. I believe in democracy but is there any place for it in creativity? It's not even like they used they themes as jumping off points-it's more like they did a sloppy cut'n'paste, where these moments are there but there's no context.
That said this film is too polished, there's no dirt under it's fingernails. There's nothing interesting or quirky about it; not that I expected it to be but it's not even dependable in it's promise of excitement. It's just boring and I can't think of a worse crime for any film.

I watched I Am Number Four (2011) at the cinema.

My 2011 in Movies will return with The Illusionist (2010)...