Cold Sweat (1971)

I'm beginning to think i like the idea of Charles Bronson for more than the guy's creative output.
I can't say i would watch a Charles Bronson movie simply because he's in it. I wanted to see Twinky, to see how he would fit in that film. I decided to watch Cold Sweat because it was directed by Terence Young (the director of Dr. No and From Russia With Love) and it also starred latter-career James Mason. 

This trailer actually makes this movie seem watchable:-

I mean it's not, but it was a pleasant hope for a few minutes, eh? 
This is probably a better representation of the film...

Fundamentally, this is a piss-poor script featuring piss-poor acting. I love Bronson's accent and the cadence of the way he speaks but his voice is something that should be used sparingly. As you can see, he can be glib and threatening but he's not very good at the concept of delivering sarcasm.
I gotta talk about Liv Ullman. She will always be most famous for starring in and being muse of Ingmar Bergman('s films) but her inflection of the English language is so bad I suspect she still can't speak English. Her first scene in this film was likely the first time she ever spoke English... ever. I say this because every time she opens her mouth, she look so worried she's gonna make a mistake. This serves her well when she's being held hostage but when she has scenes with her screen-husband Bronson, like when she says 'Sometimes i wonder why i stay married, then sometimes i know why i stay married'- your brain is screaming 'IT'S BECAUSE HE BEATS YOU ISN'T IT, YOU POOR WOMAN!' 
I don't think the character does but all her dialogue sounds like the voice of a battered wife.
James 'Lo-li-ta!' Mason doesn't fare much better. 
I suspect he was so fugging wasted during the making of this film- that they wrote that his character had to be strapped to a chair, halfway through!
As further proof, in a choice likely made by a liver-pickled ham- he decided to play the role of a former army captain channelling General Custer it would seem. Why is he doing a bad Southern USA accent, no one else is doing an 'accent'? No one's ever told you to do it before when you were in American movies! Why do it when you're in the South of France? It's mental.
Look, basically I can see what's happened here. Terry Young put out the call- 'come to friggin Nicé for 2 weeks. We'll work for a few hours a day, the rest will be a lovely piss-up. Leave your wallet at home- Bring the family- it'll be great!'
Well, I had a sneaking suspiction it might be shitty. It is but that's not to say it's kinda fun too. It reminds us that grindhouse movies weren't always super violent or super-sexualised - sometimes all you needed was a great gonzo car-chase in the South of France.

I love that he doesn't have enough momentum to free-wheel down the mountain, that he has to actually accelerate!

But please don't watch Cold Sweat. Watch the clips I've found for you on YouTube. They feature all the best stupid dialogue bits and the car-chase centrepiece. And because it's called Cold Sweat. There's nothing contextual about that title in this film. It's maddening!

I watched Cold Sweat (1971) on LoveFilm Online - http://bit.ly/eBtaIa
My 2011 in Movies will return with Jonah Hex (2010)...